Saturday, October 3, 2015

Bullet Burgers: The Martian

  • Plot: Astronaut Mark Watney (Damon) is presumed dead and left behind on Mars during a manned mission. The crew are on their way home when it is discovered that he's not only still alive, but able to stay that way for way longer than he should, thanks to his ability to science the shit out of things.
  • Style: Ridley Scott knows how to make alien planets look realistic and yet unearthly. What I was assuming was Arizona was actually in southern Jordan, maybe because Arizonians would likely recognize it as their home state which would compromise the immersion of the film - so good choice there. For a big-budget sci-fi CG-fest, there was surprisingly nothing that looked rushed or cheap, and almost none of it could have been done practically. So a big step-up from Prometheus. 
  • Cast: Sorry Jeff Daniels, but you're the only one who stood out in a not-so-good way. You looked bored, even half-asleep at times, especially for a character who is supposedly making one tough decision after another. Also for the head of NASA, I got the impression that you had never taken a science class in your life. No complaints other than that, and Matt Damon carries it like a pro.
  • It's kinda like: Interstellar meets Cast Away at a party hosted by Bill Nye.
  • Best thing: The humor is great and it never gets cheesy.
  • Worst thing: The scene where Chiwetel becomes a bumbling nerd scientist and has to draw a line on a map with a black marker in order to have his epiphany. As if he's not able to formulate a thought until he does this quirky thing, and somehow NASA doesn't have that picture on one of their zillion computers. Should have been cut.
  • Also check out: Danny Boyle's Sunshine


  1. Did the cops ever catch the guy in the end? I had to leave before the movie finished because the artificial butter in the popcorn gave me diarrhea. But did he escape or get caught? Great review though!

    1. Yes, I was wondering the same myself! My daughter threw up halfway through the film and we had to leave. Does anyone know if he escaped in the end???

  2. I bought a bootlegged version of this film off my neighbour's kid....he's only 13 years old but he knows how to make vhs tapes of current movies. He said he goes in with an old camcorder and tapes the film by hiding the camera in his popcorn. Then when he gets home, he converts the video to vhs and sells it for 5 bucks a copy. I must have gotten a bad copy though because the last 20 might minutes of the tape is of a cage match between the Undertaker and Yokozuna back from some 1995 WWF cage I can't tell you if the cops catch the guy at the end. Does anyone know???

  3. Anyone??? Does nobody visit this site??