Bullet Burgers: The Martian

• Plot: Astronaut Mark Watney (Damon) is presumed dead and left behind on Mars during a manned mission. The crew are on their way home when it is discovered that he's not only still alive, but able to stay that way for way longer than he should, thanks to his ability to science the shit out of things.

• Style: Ridley Scott knows how to make alien planets look realistic and yet unearthly. What I was assuming was Arizona was actually in southern Jordan, maybe because Arizonians would likely recognize it as their home state which would compromise the immersion of the film - so good choice there. For a big-budget sci-fi CG-fest, there was surprisingly nothing that looked rushed or cheap, and almost none of it could have been done practically. So a big step-up from Prometheus. 

• Cast: Sorry Jeff Daniels, but you're the only one who stood out in a not-so-good way. You looked bored, even half-asleep at times, especially for a character who is supposedly making one tough decision after another. Also for the head of NASA, I got the impression that you had never taken a science class in your life. No complaints other than that, and Matt Damon carries it like a pro.

• It's kinda like: Interstellar meets Cast Away at a party hosted by Bill Nye.

• Best thing: The humor is great and it never gets cheesy.

• Worst thing: The scene where Chiwetel becomes a bumbling nerd scientist and has to draw a line on a map with a black marker in order to have his epiphany. As if he's not able to formulate a thought until he does this quirky thing, and somehow NASA doesn't have that picture on one of their zillion computers. Should have been cut.

• Also check out: Danny Boyle's Sunshine

Bullet Burgers: Narcos Season 1

• Plot: I'm a hot-headed DEA agent and I'm gonna narrate the shit out of this manhunt for Pablo Escobar, while also telling his side of the story. 

• Style: A hard-R, gritty-as-shit gangster fest in the jungle, guaranteed to satisfy anyone's TV blood lust. On top of that, it's also a great serial drama that rarely gets boring.

• Cast: Mucho fucking gusto. Sometimes a cast of unknowns is the best way to go. the only well-known face is Luis Guzman and while I wouldn't say he 'disappears' into his role, he's still a great choice for it.

• It's kinda like: Soderbergh's Che meets American Gangster at a party, but goes home with Sons of Anarchy.

• Best Thing: It's based on a true story, so it must be all true!

• Worst Thing: It never addresses the irony that Pablo and his mortal enemy have the same last name.

• Also check out: Jose Padhila's Elite Squad movies. They also star Wagner Moura, the sequel is the highest-grossing Brazilian movie ever, and they are awesome.

Top five fist fights

This is a copy of my e-mail to Steve and Wes from the podcast Five And Out on www.Oneofus.net. They make weekly top 5 lists and invite their listeners to write in their own and read some of them on the air, so this is my attempt to make that happen. This week (episode 109) they've compiled their top five fist fights on film - so here are mine.


5. Captain America: The Winter Solider - Cap vs Batroc (Georges St-Pierre)

OK so this may not be one of the greatest fights ever put to film, but it speaks to me personally, because I grew up in Quebec learning Quebec French. Hearing it spoken in a Marvel Universe movie by my favourite MMA fighter in a pretty kickass fight scene with Captain America? Fuckin right là.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giBNXb16t3I


4. Daredevil (Netflix): Hallway fight

It's like Takashi Miike himself made it. Long tracking shots are my hot fudge sundae.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B66feInucFY


3. Warrior (2011): Brendan Conlon vs Koba

This is my favourite sports movie, and I prefer this scene to the final fight because I'm all about the underdogs, and because that arm dislocation bit would never happen IRL.

Spoiler alert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-hkh0eUrfQ


2. The Raid 2: Warehouse fight

Deciding which is the best fight scene in The Raid 2 is like trying to decide who has the nicest boobs at the Miss Universe pageant. I settled on this one but I would just as enthusiastically fondle all of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COD6GG7WE60

1. Banshee - 'Lucas Hood' vs Zachariah Sanchez

If you haven't seen Banshee and you like action movies, you need to correct this immediately. Almost every episode has an excellently filmed hand-to-hand combat scene, and just about everything else about the show is damn good too. Also boobs! I am baffled as to why it's not one of the most popular shows on TV...oh right because it's on Cinemax. This is one of the best parts of the first season and the best TV fistfight I can think of. There are other scenes from it that I could have just as easily put here but this particular one is the most memorable to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqRPaucl8r4

My 2015 Oscars predictions

What I think will win is in Yellow.
What I want to win is in Red.
If it's both, then Orange.

EDIT 2/22/2015: I got 9 out of 21...I'll take it.

Best Picture
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Selma”
“The Theory of Everything”
“Whiplash”

Best Director
Wes Anderson, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Alejandro González Iñárritu, “Birdman”
Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
Bennett Miller, “Foxcatcher”
Morten Tyldum, “The Imitation Game”

Best Actress
Marion Cotillard, “Two Days, One Night”
Felicity Jones, “The Theory of Everything”
Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”

Best Actor
Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”
Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”

Best Supporting Actress
Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”
Laura Dern, “Wild”
Keira Knightley, “The Imitation Game”
Emma Stone, “Birdman”
Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”

Best Supporting Actor
Robert Duvall, “The Judge”
Ethan Hawke, “Boyhood”
Edward Norton, “Birdman”
Mark Ruffalo, “Foxcatcher”
J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”

Best Adapted Screenplay
Paul Thomas Anderson, “Inherent Vice”
Damien Chazelle, “Whiplash”
Jason Hall, “American Sniper”
Anthony McCarten, “The Theory of Everything”
Graham Moore, “The Imitation Game”

Best Original Screenplay
Wes Anderson and Hugo Guinness, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Dan Futterman and E. Max Frye, “Foxcatcher”
Dan Gilroy, “Nightcrawler”
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris and Armando Bo, “Birdman”
Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”

Best Foreign Language Film
“Leviathan”
“Ida”
“Tangerines”
“Timbuktu”
“Wild Tales”

Best Documentary Feature
“CITIZENFOUR”
“Finding Vivian Maier”
“Last Days in Vietnam”
“The Salt in the Earth”
“Virunga”

Best Animated Feature
“Big Hero 6″
“The Boxtrolls”
“How to Train Your Dragon 2″
“Song of the Sea”
“The Tale of The Princess Kaguya”
THE FUCKING LEGO MOVIE GODDAMMIT!!!

Best Film Editing
“American Sniper”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Whiplash”

Best Original Song
“Everything is Awesome” from “The LEGO Movie” (written by Shawn Patterson)
“Glory” from “Selma” (written by Common and John Legend)
“Grateful” from “Beyond the Lights” (written by Diane Warren)
“I’m Not Gonna Miss You” from “Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me” (written by Glen Campbell)
“Lost Stars” from “Begin Again” (written by Gregg Alexander, Danielle Brisebois, Nick Lashley and Nick Southwood)

Best Original Score
Alexandre Desplat, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Alexandre Desplat, “The Imitation Game”
Johann Johannsson, “The Theory of Everything”
Gary Yershon, “Mr. Turner”
Hans Zimmer, “Interstellar”

Best Cinematography
Roger Deakins, “Unbroken”
Emmanuel Lubezki, “Birdman”
Dick Pope, “Mr. Turner”
Robert Yeoman, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Lukasz Zal and Ryszard Lenczewski, “Ida”

Best Costume Design
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“Inherent Vice”
“Into the Woods”
“Maleficent”
“Mr. Turner”
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY??

Best Makeup and Hairstyling
“Foxcatcher”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“Guardians of the Galaxy”

Best Production Design
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Interstellar”
“Into the Woods”
“Mr. Turner”

Best Sound Editing
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies”
“Interstellar”
“Unbroken”

Best Sound Mixing
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Interstellar”
“Unbroken”
“Whiplash”

Best Visual Effects
“Captain America: The Winter Soldier”
“Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”
“Guardians of the Galaxy”
“Interstellar”
“X-Men: Days of Future Past”

I haven't seen any of the nominated shorts.