Saturday, February 9, 2013

If I Made It: Preacher

Among the limited number of comics and graphic novels that I've read (Watchmen, Sandman, Dark Knight Returns, Civil War, Blackest Night, Walking Dead) Preacher is my favourite and the only one I have read twice. I've always enjoyed movies that use the Christian mythos as their basis, and Preacher not only tells a hell of a good story using established biblical characters, but also manages to keep it extremely smart and mature throughout. Kevin Smith's Dogma is the closest thing to a movie version of it, but lacks the outstanding dialogue and character depth.

Thrown into the movie rumour ring every few years since before the last issue was even out, like Watchmen it has been deemed unfilmable, too graphic and too controversial. Well, fuck that. I want to see this thing put to film, just as long as it gets an R rating or equivalent. 

The Preacher movie / TV series / mini-series / debaclestravaganza went through the obstacle courses from Wipeout and now sits at the bottom of one of those muddy pools. Starting as far back as 1998, the project has bounced from Rachel Talalay to Kevin Smith, to Mark Steven Johnson, to Sam Mendes, to HBO. That was in 2008 and we've heard nothing since then. The term 'development hell' has never been so fitting.

Ideal Director: Quentin Tarantino (yeah right)
The dialogue between Jesse and Cassidy is what elevates Preacher over everything else I've read. When a Texan badass and an Irish vampire become best friends and bond over stuff like Bill Hicks, walls of text are welcome. Tarantino is the master of the unique blend of tangential conversation, multiple plot lines, and stylish ultra-violence that Preacher is famous for. Okay, so QT directs his own scripts exclusively, but like him, Ennis likes to include references to popular culture, doesn't pull any punches when it comes to adult material, and completes his story with a satisfying ending. 


Disclaimer. There are already a truckload of fan-made mock casting charts for this movie on the...ugh...'blogosphere'. So some of my casting choices here are inspired by some of those blogs, and some are my own. Regardless, here is who I think should play whom.

Jesse Custer: Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Saved By the Bell) 

He looks like Jesse, and we all know how much Tarantino likes to revive careers. He had a small but very good cameo in Weeds that gave me the idea. Just thinking outside the box.

Cassidy: Robert Carlyle
Colin Farrell could also work. Carlyle might be a 'safe' or 'inside-the-box' choice here but I just can't think of anyone better. Does anyone know if Sean Penn or Sam Rockwell can do a good Irish accent? 

Tulip O'Hare: Katie Sackhoff
I never really got into BSG, but this is all I needed to convince me.
EDIT: After seeing Riddick, I am only more convinced that she is the only actress suited for Tulip.

The Saint of Killers: Clint Eastwood 
Yeah right. Maybe Josh Brolin in his Jonah Hex make-up. Or Scott Glenn in his Scott Glenn make-up.

Jesus de Sade: Rhys Ifans
Because Tim Roth in a long, blonde wig would look weird.

Herr Starr: Stephen Lang
Someone did a very good job at photoshopping mockups of John Malkovich and Terry O'Quinn as Herr Starr. But in my opinion Stephen Lang, especially in Avatar, had the right militaristic, intimidating personality and screen presence to play Starr.

Arseface: Any 18 year old kid who can act
Because who the fuck can tell who that is anyway?

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