Friday, February 8, 2013

Eight-Word Reviews of All Nine Best Picture Nominees

Zero Dark Thirty
"Let's get Osama"
"Nah"
"Let's get Osama!!"
"Okay"

Argo (Best Picture choice)
Agent Affleck effectively exfiltrates Americans in insane Iran.

Les Miserables
Wolverine and Catwoman sing well and are sad.

Lincoln
Cameo, cameo, cameo, cameo, Abe tells a story.

Life of Pi

Indian boy 'befriends' CG Tiger. Second best picture.

Beasts of the Southern Wild
Poor father, daughter annoy each other. Katrina-esque setting.

Silver Linings Playbook
In my experience, bipolar people aren't this nuts.

Django Unchained
Funny. Violent. Tense. Exciting. Authentic. Bloody. N*****. Tarantino.

Amour

I have not seen Amour and probably won't.

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