Bullet Burgers: The Martian

• Plot: Astronaut Mark Watney (Damon) is presumed dead and left behind on Mars during a manned mission. The crew are on their way home when it is discovered that he's not only still alive, but able to stay that way for way longer than he should, thanks to his ability to science the shit out of things.

• Style: Ridley Scott knows how to make alien planets look realistic and yet unearthly. What I was assuming was Arizona was actually in southern Jordan, maybe because Arizonians would likely recognize it as their home state which would compromise the immersion of the film - so good choice there. For a big-budget sci-fi CG-fest, there was surprisingly nothing that looked rushed or cheap, and almost none of it could have been done practically. So a big step-up from Prometheus. 

• Cast: Sorry Jeff Daniels, but you're the only one who stood out in a not-so-good way. You looked bored, even half-asleep at times, especially for a character who is supposedly making one tough decision after another. Also for the head of NASA, I got the impression that you had never taken a science class in your life. No complaints other than that, and Matt Damon carries it like a pro.

• It's kinda like: Interstellar meets Cast Away at a party hosted by Bill Nye.

• Best thing: The humor is great and it never gets cheesy.

• Worst thing: The scene where Chiwetel becomes a bumbling nerd scientist and has to draw a line on a map with a black marker in order to have his epiphany. As if he's not able to formulate a thought until he does this quirky thing, and somehow NASA doesn't have that picture on one of their zillion computers. Should have been cut.

• Also check out: Danny Boyle's Sunshine

Bullet Burgers: Narcos Season 1

• Plot: I'm a hot-headed DEA agent and I'm gonna narrate the shit out of this manhunt for Pablo Escobar, while also telling his side of the story. 

• Style: A hard-R, gritty-as-shit gangster fest in the jungle, guaranteed to satisfy anyone's TV blood lust. On top of that, it's also a great serial drama that rarely gets boring.

• Cast: Mucho fucking gusto. Sometimes a cast of unknowns is the best way to go. the only well-known face is Luis Guzman and while I wouldn't say he 'disappears' into his role, he's still a great choice for it.

• It's kinda like: Soderbergh's Che meets American Gangster at a party, but goes home with Sons of Anarchy.

• Best Thing: It's based on a true story, so it must be all true!

• Worst Thing: It never addresses the irony that Pablo and his mortal enemy have the same last name.

• Also check out: Jose Padhila's Elite Squad movies. They also star Wagner Moura, the sequel is the highest-grossing Brazilian movie ever, and they are awesome.

Top five fist fights

This is a copy of my e-mail to Steve and Wes from the podcast Five And Out on www.Oneofus.net. They make weekly top 5 lists and invite their listeners to write in their own and read some of them on the air, so this is my attempt to make that happen. This week (episode 109) they've compiled their top five fist fights on film - so here are mine.


5. Captain America: The Winter Solider - Cap vs Batroc (Georges St-Pierre)

OK so this may not be one of the greatest fights ever put to film, but it speaks to me personally, because I grew up in Quebec learning Quebec French. Hearing it spoken in a Marvel Universe movie by my favourite MMA fighter in a pretty kickass fight scene with Captain America? Fuckin right là.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giBNXb16t3I


4. Daredevil (Netflix): Hallway fight

It's like Takashi Miike himself made it. Long tracking shots are my hot fudge sundae.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B66feInucFY


3. Warrior (2011): Brendan Conlon vs Koba

This is my favourite sports movie, and I prefer this scene to the final fight because I'm all about the underdogs, and because that arm dislocation bit would never happen IRL.

Spoiler alert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-hkh0eUrfQ


2. The Raid 2: Warehouse fight

Deciding which is the best fight scene in The Raid 2 is like trying to decide who has the nicest boobs at the Miss Universe pageant. I settled on this one but I would just as enthusiastically fondle all of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COD6GG7WE60

1. Banshee - 'Lucas Hood' vs Zachariah Sanchez

If you haven't seen Banshee and you like action movies, you need to correct this immediately. Almost every episode has an excellently filmed hand-to-hand combat scene, and just about everything else about the show is damn good too. Also boobs! I am baffled as to why it's not one of the most popular shows on TV...oh right because it's on Cinemax. This is one of the best parts of the first season and the best TV fistfight I can think of. There are other scenes from it that I could have just as easily put here but this particular one is the most memorable to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqRPaucl8r4

My 2015 Oscars predictions

What I think will win is in Yellow.
What I want to win is in Red.
If it's both, then Orange.

EDIT 2/22/2015: I got 9 out of 21...I'll take it.

Best Picture
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Selma”
“The Theory of Everything”
“Whiplash”

Best Director
Wes Anderson, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Alejandro González Iñárritu, “Birdman”
Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
Bennett Miller, “Foxcatcher”
Morten Tyldum, “The Imitation Game”

Best Actress
Marion Cotillard, “Two Days, One Night”
Felicity Jones, “The Theory of Everything”
Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”

Best Actor
Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”
Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”

Best Supporting Actress
Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”
Laura Dern, “Wild”
Keira Knightley, “The Imitation Game”
Emma Stone, “Birdman”
Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”

Best Supporting Actor
Robert Duvall, “The Judge”
Ethan Hawke, “Boyhood”
Edward Norton, “Birdman”
Mark Ruffalo, “Foxcatcher”
J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”

Best Adapted Screenplay
Paul Thomas Anderson, “Inherent Vice”
Damien Chazelle, “Whiplash”
Jason Hall, “American Sniper”
Anthony McCarten, “The Theory of Everything”
Graham Moore, “The Imitation Game”

Best Original Screenplay
Wes Anderson and Hugo Guinness, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Dan Futterman and E. Max Frye, “Foxcatcher”
Dan Gilroy, “Nightcrawler”
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris and Armando Bo, “Birdman”
Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”

Best Foreign Language Film
“Leviathan”
“Ida”
“Tangerines”
“Timbuktu”
“Wild Tales”

Best Documentary Feature
“CITIZENFOUR”
“Finding Vivian Maier”
“Last Days in Vietnam”
“The Salt in the Earth”
“Virunga”

Best Animated Feature
“Big Hero 6″
“The Boxtrolls”
“How to Train Your Dragon 2″
“Song of the Sea”
“The Tale of The Princess Kaguya”
THE FUCKING LEGO MOVIE GODDAMMIT!!!

Best Film Editing
“American Sniper”
“Boyhood”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Whiplash”

Best Original Song
“Everything is Awesome” from “The LEGO Movie” (written by Shawn Patterson)
“Glory” from “Selma” (written by Common and John Legend)
“Grateful” from “Beyond the Lights” (written by Diane Warren)
“I’m Not Gonna Miss You” from “Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me” (written by Glen Campbell)
“Lost Stars” from “Begin Again” (written by Gregg Alexander, Danielle Brisebois, Nick Lashley and Nick Southwood)

Best Original Score
Alexandre Desplat, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Alexandre Desplat, “The Imitation Game”
Johann Johannsson, “The Theory of Everything”
Gary Yershon, “Mr. Turner”
Hans Zimmer, “Interstellar”

Best Cinematography
Roger Deakins, “Unbroken”
Emmanuel Lubezki, “Birdman”
Dick Pope, “Mr. Turner”
Robert Yeoman, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
Lukasz Zal and Ryszard Lenczewski, “Ida”

Best Costume Design
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“Inherent Vice”
“Into the Woods”
“Maleficent”
“Mr. Turner”
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY??

Best Makeup and Hairstyling
“Foxcatcher”
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“Guardians of the Galaxy”

Best Production Design
“The Grand Budapest Hotel”
“The Imitation Game”
“Interstellar”
“Into the Woods”
“Mr. Turner”

Best Sound Editing
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies”
“Interstellar”
“Unbroken”

Best Sound Mixing
“American Sniper”
“Birdman”
“Interstellar”
“Unbroken”
“Whiplash”

Best Visual Effects
“Captain America: The Winter Soldier”
“Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”
“Guardians of the Galaxy”
“Interstellar”
“X-Men: Days of Future Past”

I haven't seen any of the nominated shorts.

Eight-Word Reviews: Episode 6: Return of the Redeye

If you name a movie on my Facebook or Twitter page, and if I've seen it, I'll eight-word review it. Warning: I'm honest.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (2014)

Best Hunger Games yet, despite not making sense.

Nightcrawler (2014)

Outstanding directorial debut. Gyllenhaal might win this year.

The Giver (2014)

Fahrenheit 451 with a different palette. Three stars.

The Maze Runner (2014)

If Hunger Games is Battle Royale, behold Cube.

Predestination (2013)

Good despite massive plot hole. Time-travel is tricky. 

The Congress (2014)

Fantastic premise, but abandons it when cartoons start.

The Guest (2014)

Great suspense & performances, until the cliché-laden third act.

Defiance Season 1 (2013)

Star Trek's political drama meets Firefly's western flair.

Silicon Valley Season 1 (2014)

Proof that The Big Bang Theory actually sucks.

Bullet Burgers: Top 10 Betrayals

This is a copy of the list from my e-mail to the podcast Five & Out on the OneOfUs.net podcast network. They invite listeners to send in their own lists, and they read one or two on the air, so this is my attempt at getting that to happen. EDIT: They read my top 5 on the air!! Click here, play, and skip to 27:30 to hear it.

CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD

• #10 - Snatch: Mickey (Brad Pitt) & his crew of pikeys kill Brick Top and his crew, after Mickey, by design as it turns out, does not take a dive for the second consecutive time. One of my favourite 'get up and cheer' moments of any movie.
• #9 - Oz: Tobias Beecher is betrayed by Chris Keller. (discussed on the podcast)
• #8 - Agents of SHIELD / Captain America: The Winter Solder: Members of H.Y.D.R.A. (Frank Grillo, Agent Sitwell, Bill Paxton, Agent Ward) infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. and attempt to take it over from the inside; Cap and Nick Fury destroy the agency instead, and the show depicts what happens to its agents afterwards. The same plot twist occurring in two different things at the same time, across the TV-movie dimensional rift? Has anyone else ever done that?
• #7 - Fight Club: Tyler Durden betrays "Jack" (the narrator doesn't actually have a name but is most often referred to as Jack) after taking Project Mayhem too far. Jack then betrays Tyler by shooting himself through the cheek. In the end, it's all really one man betraying himself.
• #6 - Pulp Fiction: Butch betrays Marsellus Wallace by killing a man in the ring and then goes on the run, leading to one of the greatest and most disturbing scenes in any Tarantino film.
• #5 - The Godfather Part 2: Fredo sells out the family to Hymen Roth, receives the 'kiss of death' from Michael, and is taken on a fishing trip.
• #4 - The X-Men universe / X-Men: First Class: Magneto betrays Professor X and forms his Brotherhood of Mutants. For me Magneto is the quintessential comic book villain. I love the 'loosely based on Malcolm X vs. Dr. MLK' aspect of the X-Men story, and this betrayal is what starts all of it.
• #3 - Boardwalk Empire: Eli Thompson betrays his brother Nucky, and it ultimately destroys his life.
• #2 - 2001: A Space Odyssey: HAL 9000 betrays the crew in the interest of self-preservation after they 'betray' him by deciding to shut him off. Can you really betray a computer? Can a computer really betray someone by following its programming? 
• #1 - Game of Thrones: Walder Frey betrays and murders the Starks. (discussed on the podcast)

Eight-word reviews, part Vee.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Awesome, bloody Korean action. OMG the Alison Pill scene.

The One I Love (2014)

Drama? Comedy? Sci-Fi? Impossible to classify. Highly recommend.

I'll Follow You Down (2013)

Osment tracks down dead person. Underrated on RT. 

Interstellar (2014)

Eight words is simply not enough to fully...

Sin City: A Dame To Kill For (2014)

Throws noir out the window in third act.

22 Jump Street (2014)

Proof that Friedberg and Seltzer just aren't trying.

Edge of Tomorrow (aka Live, Die, Repeat) (2014)

Cruise at his sci-fi-iest. Choose a damn title!

Let's Be Cops (2014)

As expected, feels like a New Girl episode.

Tim's Vermeer (2013)

Tim, not a painter, paints an impossible painting.

Review: X-Men: Days of Future Past: Bullet Version: Multi-Colon edition

Story

• DoFP is a sequel to both First Class and The Last Stand. There are multiple references and flashbacks to both movies. At least see First Class before this.
• Does not acknowledge either of the Wolverine films.
• Tried and tested prevent-the-future-apocalypse plot that successfully connects the two X-Men series / timelines.
• Not a whole lot of action for an X-Men movie, but makes up for it with awesome scenes featuring Blink and Quicksilver.
• None of the movie takes place in present day. It phases between 1973 and 2023.
• The only actual time travel is Wolverine's (and Bishop's) consciousness being sent back into his younger self. Somehow Kitty Pryde has this power, which is news to me.
• Glaring inconsistency: Professor X died in The Last Stand, which is not mentioned at any time, even though there are flashbacks to that movie, and both Cyclops and Jean are dead. The same goes for Magneto losing his powers.
• (Spoiler) Quicksilver is the coolest new character, and has the best scene in the film. Story-wise, he nails what they ask him to do, so why didn't they ask him to join the team? I was hoping and expecting him to show up and save the day at the end. 
• New characters: Warpath, Sunspot, Bishop, Blink, Quicksilver, Bolivar Trask, Toad and Stryker return.
• M.I.A.: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Arcangel, Angel, Banshee, Pyro, Juggernaut.

Presentation

• Effective use of suspense and tension as the glue that holds the story together. Bryan Singer is one of the masters of this; bringing him back was a great move.
• No noticeably bad performances.
• The cinematography is beautiful.
• I was expecting and hoping for at least some mention of the Fantastic Four, since Fox has that as well, but if it's there I missed it.

In the Comic:

• The years are 1980 (present day) and 2013 (the future).
• Largely Kitty Pryde and Nightcrawler's story. But the movie has no Nightcrawler at all, and Ellen Page doesn't have much screen time.
• Kitty Pryde's (not Wolverine's) consciousness is sent back to 1980 with the help of a mutant who actually has that power. Young Kitty Pryde is then embodied by her older self, who is more hostile and soldier-like. This couldn't be done in the movie due to continuity.
• (Spoiler) The end of the comic is very open-ended: nobody actually knows if the future has been saved. Might have made a better ending to the movie.

Final verdict: 4 out of 5 rebar skeletons.

The Filmburgers Podcast Episode 6

In this episode, Phil and I create mouth-noises about the 2013 Oscars, and our favourite and least favourite movies of the year.

Music: "(The Day After) The Farmer Died" by Muffler Crunch

www.mufflercrunch.com

Download Here

Intro - What's New
4:45 - Musical interlude
6:00 - Our #1
12:55 - McConaugHey!

16:00 - Our #2
19:10 - Jeff's #3
23:30 - Phil's #3
26:25 - Break for tunes
27:05 - Jeff's #4
31:05 - Phil's #4
33:10 - Jeff's #5
34:20 - Phil's #5
40:15 - More Muffler Crunch
40:50 - Least favourite movies of 2013
56:15 - Star Wars chat

Filmburgers' 2014 Oscar Predictions

There are a few left out because I haven't seen any of the nominees.

Best Picture

12 Years a Slave

Amercan Hustle

Dallas Buyers Club

Her

Nebraska

Captain Phillips

The Wolf of Wall Street

Gravity

Philomena

Best Actor

Bruce Dern - Nebraska

Chiwetl Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave

Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club

Christian Bale - American Hustle

Leonardo DiCaprio - The Wolf of Wall Street

Supporting Actor

Barkhad Abdi - Captain Phillips

Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave

Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club

Bradley Cooper - American Hustle

Jonah Hill - The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine

Sandra Bullock - Gravity

Judi Dench - Philomena

Meryl Streep - August: Osage County

Amy Adams - American hustle

Supporting Actress

Sally Hawkins - Blue Jasmine

Jennifer Lawrence - American Hustle

Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave

Julia Roberts - August: Osage County

June Squibb - Nebraska

Animated film

The Croods

Despicable Me 2

Frozen

The Wind Rises

Ernest & Celestine

Best Cinematography

The Grandmaster

Gravity

Inside Llewyn Davis

Nebraska

Prisoners

Costume Design

American Hustle

The Grandmaster

The Great Gatsby

The Invisible Woman

12 Years a Slave

Best Director

Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity

Steve McQuenn - 12 Years a Slave

Alexander Payne - Nebraska

David O. Russell - American Hustle

Martin Scorsese - The Wolf of Wall Street

Documentary

The Act of Killing

20 Feet from Stardom

Cutie and the Boxer

Dirty Wars

The Square

Film Editing

American Hustle

Captain Phillips

Dallas Buyers Club

Gravity

12 Years a Slave

Makeup and Hairstyling

Dallas Buyers Club

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

The Lone Ranger

Original Score

The Book Thief

Gravity

Her

Philomena

Saving Mr. Banks

Production design

"American Hustle"

"Gravity"

"The Great Gatsby"

"Her"

"12 Years a Slave"

Sound Editing

"All Is Lost"

"Captain Phillips"

"Gravity"

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

"Lone Survivor"

Sound Mixing

"Captain Phillips"

"Gravity"

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

"Inside Llewyn Davis"

"Lone Survivor"

Visual Effects

"Gravity"

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug"

"Iron Man 3"

"The Lone Ranger"

"Star Trek Into Darkness"

Adapted Screenplay

"Before Midnight" - Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke

"Captain Phillips" - Billy Ray

"Philomena" - Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope

"12 Years A Slave" - John Ridley

"The Wolf of Wall Street" - Terence Winter

Original Screenplay

"American Hustle" - Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell

"Blue Jasmine" - Woody Allen

"Her" - Spike Jonze

"Nebraska" - Bob Nelson "Dallas Buyers Club" - Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack

Update on the Deus Ex movie from its writer!

Yesterday during the Super Bowl I was live-streaming and chatting on my fav movie site OneOfUs.Net (R.I.P. Spill.com), and it just happened that C. Robert Cargill, the writer of such films as Sinister and the upcoming Deus Ex adaptation (not even on IMDB yet!), was present. I was fortunate enough to get my question answered by him, (I typed it, he answered verbally) and it was the high point of my weekend. Albeit paraphrased, it went something like this:

(Another user): "How's Deus Ex coming along?"
C. Robert Cargill: "It's in pre-production. (...) We've done several drafts of the script and they're happy with it."
Me: "Do you feel pressure considering how much video game movies suck?"
C. Robert Cargill: "I did at first, and that was the big question mark as to whether we were going to take it (...) it's one of those things where we looked at it and said 'it's so easy to make the best video game movie ever made' (...) so it actually was counter (...) hopefully we can show other people how it's done."

So, uh, am I a real journalist now?

EDIT: Edited the quotes for accuracy. You can hear it below, or listen to the full audio here (at 2:48:25). 

Eight-Word Reviews: Part 44 and a 4th

If you name a movie on my Facebook page or tweet me one, AND if I've seen it, I'll 8-word review it. Warning: I'm honest.


Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Surprisingly awesome. Funniest Marvel movie yet...sorry Joss.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

HG's Kill Bill Vol.2: Good story; lacking action.

Gravity (2013)

2013's Life of Pi. Will win Best Cinematography.

Ender's Game (2013)

Wicked fun for kids geeks of all ages.

Banshee Season 1 (2013)

Bullets, boobs, brawls, repeat. 2013's BEST. NEW. SHOW.

Prisoners (2013)

(Mystic River - Eastwood) x Fincher x Fincher x Fincher x Fincher

The Way, Way Back (2013)

Boring as shit, save for Sam Rockwell's wit.

Limitless (2010, requested by Sarah L.)

Do drugs: gain superpowers, and meet Robert Deniro!

The Conjuring (2013)

"Wanna make another generic ghost flick?" "Fuck yeah!"

If I Cast It: Uncharted

Nathan Drake: (thin) Nathan Fillion (Firefly)

Non-negotiable.

Victor 'Sully' Sullivan: Bruce Campbell (Burn Notice)

Why did I refer you to Burn Notice instead of Evil Dead? Because in Evil Dead he's too young to look anything like Sully. Who else could work: Robert Deniro (the fan favourite for the role), George Clooney, John Slattery

Elena Fisher: Emily Rose (Haven)

Emily Rose? Wasn't she the chick who was exorcised in 2005 and then became Dexter's sister? Nope, turns out that the real-life Emily not only did Elena's voice in the games, but is also the non-voice-acting star of the show Haven. Anyone know if it's any good? Amy Smart also comes to mind.

Chloe Frazer: Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire)

Considering her Britishness, who else could work: Rebecca Hall, Rachel Weiss, Keira Knightly

Charlie Cutter: Vinnie Jones (Snatch)

 Just look at him. Jason Statham? He doesn't do supporting roles any more. And Vinnie is due for a role where's not a despicable asshole.

Harry Flynn: Sam Rockwell

For secondary roles, Sam Rockwell is who you cast when you want to turn a generic character into a likeable one - and he can even be a good villain. The man seems to be tailor-made for action comedies and yet rarely appears in them; he should be getting more starring gigs after his amazing performance in the tragically underrated Moon.

The Director Wore A Batsuit: Why I Think Ben Affleck Is Wrong For Batman

For some context: I loved Man of Steel and have absolutely no problem with Henry Cavill or Zack Snyder. Everyone was rooting for Zack to top everything he's ever done, and despite some of the kinks, he did just that. Man of Steel may not have been the Dark Knight that we wanted, but it still proved to be a fuckton more fun than Superman Returns, which is really what counts. But this is not really about that.

Then came the crossover announcement. So it's not the Justice League uberfilm that WB needs to fully counteract the wallet-exploding effects of The Avengers, but hey, we get a Superman-Batman mini-feud movie! They even used a Dark Knight Returns quote to make the official announcement! Fkn eh!

Wait...Ben Afflleck!? Oh shit no, bro.

When I heard, I pretty much had the same reaction as when Chris Evans was cast as Captain America. It wasn't pretty. There were casualties. But I also wanted to wait until the news settled for a bit to properly form an opinion about it instead of just banging my head on the keyboard and hitting Publish. When the Internet learned that Ben Affleck was to be the next Batman, it was so mind-blowingly maddening that I think we all went through many of the stages of beloved-franchise-defiled nerd grief. I don't know about you, but my immediate reaction was that it was a joke. Even after multiple sources reported it. That's denial. Then, of course, I got angry.

That was weeks ago. I've grown as a person since then, but I still can't admit to having reached the acceptance stage. Don't get me wrong: it's not that I think Ben's a terrible actor; it's that he is just not the right type of actor to suit the role. The fact that I still feel this way after all these weeks says something. My opinion isn't changing; it's just becoming clearer.

So, sorry Ben, but I'm going to have to stay with the "Ben Affleck is a terrible choice to play Batman" side, probably permanently. No more waiting for it to sink in. It's true, goddammit. But unlike the rest of the Internet, I can offer to you actual reasons as to why the fans are reacting the way they we are, and mine is guaranteed to be at least 97% free of words like 'pwn' and 'fag'.

Ben is not a character actor. His range is not exactly the vastest, and his demeanour is not exactly the darkest. When was the last time you saw Ol' Baffles play a mysterious, loner character? And don't say Daredevil, because he was all charisma outside the suit. Before Argo, Bartleby from Dogma was probably the most badass role he'd done, but he was still a very charismatic character, and not a huge stretch for Fleckers. Sure, he can carry a movie as a serious protagonist, but has never really succeeded in showing us a dark side. 

Ben is charming. In fact, unless I am mistaken, I think Argo may have been his first starring role where he's not trying to seduce some chick. The absolute last thing you want in your Batman is charm, and as an actor, that's really what Ben is good at and known for. Ben is much too friendly - or at least, perceived as being that way by us movie folk who have been watching him all these years - to play Batman.

One might make the argument that Bruce Wayne is a always described as a billionaire playboy, but I seriously doubt that will be an important plot point in a Superman sequel. 

Ben already played a comic book hero, and nobody liked it. Can you really blame the fans for remembering this? 

Ben doesn't have a very deep voice. Hey, we're all thinking it.

Fans prefer up-and-comers as opposed to big stars to play their superheroes. Obviously this isn't true for everybody, and there are exceptions like Iron Man, but it's a very general observation I've made when it comes to casting.  Most of us agree that the problem with Superman Returns was something other than the casting of Brandon Routh, and those who do have major problems with man of Steel aren't really targeting Henry Cavill en masse. Val Kilmer's and George Clooney's Batman "movies" are widely considered to be the worst of all time, and can you find anyone who gave the Ghost Rider movies five stars?

Maybe worst of all, Ben will spend less time directing things. And not only during filming; he'll be attending ComicCons and Bat-events all over the place. Kids want to meet the actor who plays Batman, not the director of Gone Baby Gone. Well fuck that, I want him directing things.

So, who should play Bats then, smartass? Turn on literally any movie, and chances are there is an actor in it who is better suited to don the cowl. But to answer your my question, considering the Dark Knight Returns connection, I think it would have been more suitable to hire an older actor that people are familiar with - remaining truer to the original comic (Bruce Wayne is in his sixties in TDKR), and furthering the distinction between this new franchise and the last one - someone like Josh Brolin (45), James Remar (59), or Aiden Quinn (54) would probably work. 

But since they're going with the just-entering-middle-age version, then I would have gone with an up-and-coming TV actor like Antony Starr (Banshee, age 37), Anson Mount (Hell on Wheels, age 40), or maybe even Nathan Fillion (Firefly/Castle, 42).

What do you think?

The Filmburgers Podcast Episode 5: Breaking Bub

In this episode, Phil and I make words about The Wolverine, Elysium, the 'premiere' of Breaking Bad Sesaon 5 Part 2, and some others shows that you should be watching if you're not already .

Music: "Solitary Man" by Ritual (Sweden) from their 1995 self-titled album




01:00 The Wolverine

03:25 Elysium

15:20 Music!

15:55 Breaking Bad Season 5 episode 9

30:25 Guitar solo!

31:05 Banshee

32:45 Orphan Black

35:00 Under the Dome

Co-host: Phil Fleury
Edited and produced by Jeff

The Filmburgers Podcast Episode 4: Kaijubilee

Download Here

Music: Love Junkie by Hotel Royal. The official video for the song is posted below. I know the keyboardist.

In this episode, Phil and I transmit from our giant Kaiju-fighting robots and discuss the recently-announced Emmy nominations and Pacific Rim. I am clearly tired from all the Kaiju-bashing.

00:30 - Emmy Nominations

08:50 - Music!

09:23 - Pacific Rim

18:39 - More Music!

And then, as usual, some random things & stuff & junk:

19:08 - The Wolverine / James Mangled Mangold

20:50 - Noah vs Noah? (Correction: Scott wants to do a Moses movie)

21:20 - R.I.P.D. / What Ryan Reynolds has in common with margarine

22:24 - Seventh Son looks like shit

22:42 - Only God Forgives is said to be shit

23:50 - Dead Man Down / critics are not to be trusted

25:00 - Man of Steel revisited Returns

Co-host: Phil Fleury
Edited and produced by Jeff

The Filmburgers Podcast Episode 3: Man of World War Steel

In this episode, Phil and I split out words about Man of Steel and World War Z.

Music: A Farewell To The Falcon by Cuerock

00:55 - Microphones!

03:55 - Break

04:35 - Man of Steel

23:15 - Break

24:00 - World War Z

36:55 - The end of the Cuerock song, and then the podcast

Download here

Review: The ABCs Of Death

The ABC's of Death is an anthology horror movie from 2012 that is available on Netflix. It is a collection of 26 short films, of various lengths, styles, and themes, that all depict at least one on-screen death. Each of the film's creators were assigned a letter of the alphabet, and based on it, chose the means by which a character in their film dies. Sometimes more than one person dies. Sometimes an animal dies. Sometimes people die in English and sometimes in Spanish or Japanese, and sometimes with no dialogue at all. I'll try not to spoil too much.

A

Isn't she Catlin Stark's sister on Game of Thrones? Really great practical effects, and I kinda like the reveal at the end, but it could have been more...visual? Instead it just feels like something that was added later.

B

Not as crazy about this one. A Spanish dude who, as far as I can tell, has a regular public service job? Sure. And the B word just didn't quite work for the story.

C

I love it when sci-fi is combined with other genres like this. I was positive that the C was for clone but I guess that works too

D

Wow. At one point I skipped ahead because I thought I knew what was going to happen and I just can't watch that. But thankfully I was wrong and it turned out to be awesome. Impossible not to be reminded of the movie Snatch.

E

If that spider was in my house, I would grab something slightly larger than a magazine. Like a shotgun.

F

Like most Japanese things, this absolutely belongs in http://www.reddit.com/r/wtf

G

I often wonder why the POV shot isn't used more in film. ...wait, what happened? Was he dragged under by something? Was he hit on the head? Can he not, I don't know, swim? I had to rewind this a few times and still couldn't figure out what happens. G is for...gravity? What the fuck does gravity have to do with this? Did something fall on him? Sorry, but this one just escapes me. EDIT: I apparently didn't rewind far enough. Thanks to Reddit user Sykotik for pointing out the bricks.

H

Oh buy, furries! Not just that, furries that recreate old Warner Brothers cartoons! Takes a step back into WTF territory for a moment, but still doesn't come close to the weirdness of F.

If I Remade It: Fantastic Four

Josh Trank is directing The Fantastic Four for a 2015 release, and I am not complaining. In my mind Chronicle is hands down the best found-footage movie ever, and like Unbreakable, a great superhero origin story that is independent of the Marvel / DC empire. People are tired of reboots, but in this case I don't think anyone is asking for a continuation of the existing films, and it's a logical step in Marvel's grand scheme to use this property.

The problem with the Tim Story versions is that they were too common denominator. They felt like they should be in the Kids section at the video store on Netflix. Whether it's a comic book, plain-old action, or cop drama movie, there is a principle that you will only make a good movie if you are trying to make a good movie, and in that front, both the 2005 and 2007 FF entries failed tremendously. They used the right villains and got the characters somewhat right, but felt like the scripts were written by fifteen-year-olds and the director was on constant lunch break.

There is a bevy of different relationships between the Four that can be explored: there's the romance between Reed and Susan, the siblingness with Sue and Johnny, and the rocky (groan) friendship between Reed and Ben, and at least one of these will play into the plot. There is also an opportunity to bring in more secondary characters from the Marvel universe, and maybe even do some crossovers with other movie franchises or Agents of SHIELD.

As for villains, Doctor Doom has been done, and Galactus / Silver Surfer has been done. Bringing one of them back would be seen as unoriginal, but forgiveable considering how much they were fudged up. It would be like bringing Venom into the new Spider-man series, but with someone who is actually suited to play Eddie Brock. If it were done right, it would be rated R, which I would personally love to see. Besides that, a Skrull war could work for a rebooted FF series, if that isn't already the plan for The Avengers 2.

CAST

Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic: Campbell Scott (The Exorcism of Emily Rose)

Or maybe Tim Robbins, or maybe William Petersen if he loses a bunch of weight. Scott was in a Marvel movie last year where he played the other Richard Parker, but it was a small role, and that has never stopped them before. Some may say that they're all are too old, but I would argue that Iron Garfield was in fact too young, and definitely lacked that "smartest guy in the room" presence. The Marvel cinematic universe needs a 'father-figure' leader who is more than just a military mouth, and Richards should be that guy. Listen to the upcoming Episode 3 of the podcast for more on Scott.

The Filmburgers Podcast Episode 2: Star Trek Into Iron Man 3DTV

Download Episode 2 here


Music: "Stranger" by Honeyman and the Brothers Farr, from the album Behind The Veil, Behind The Veil (only $10)

00:30 Star Trek Into Darkness

18:38 Iron Man 3

34:00 TV Lightning Round:

• We both have cats
• Burn Notice
• American Netflix in Canada
• The League & It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
• Community & The Office
• Game of Thrones